i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
