just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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