did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
