i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
