oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So. Much. Porn.
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