what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
