If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
