Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
