I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
