So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She even gives head with a lisp.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
