I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
