You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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