as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
