You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
