we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
