I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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