Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
