How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
