She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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