We are two peas in an std pod
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
