I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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