Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You pole danced in your parka.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
