guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
