I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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