I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
