Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
