i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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