He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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