Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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