She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
