Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
