I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
