i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
