i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He did a backflip because drugs
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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