How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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