he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
