his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
