You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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