my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
