hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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