Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
