I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Small penises have feelings too.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm both gender and math confused
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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