are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
