You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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