Apparently you make a good broom.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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