nutella sex= disaster
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
