I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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