ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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