ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Welp...herpes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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