I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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